Who is the senior of them all




Here is an idea of my treat on my last weekended before uni started!

Does this look delicious! Yeah it does!! I ordered royal chocolate mousse & Jamaica Almond fudge. Both balls are full of chocolate chips, So while I was eating I guessed that “I am full of chocolate” like I had my chocolate supply till next year!! Excuse the photo I was in the yellow lamp area at the mall, and I turned on camera flash.

Tweeta Story:

When I tweeted this I was having ambivalent emotions. I was already overwhelmed by this fall semester, which is going to be my last semester! Then I am a graduate Registered Nurse. So when Uni starts, and I met my professors and teachers. They were expecting more stuff from me as a senior, but they also have this way.. of comforting us! My overwhelming shifts into confidence with SWAG of course!


 I have a problem with what it called ” Expectations”!! I’ve always expected more achievements from myself, but never reached them. Sometimes I am close enough, but they fly away!

I went to my first day as senior of the seniors, without any expectations and thoughts. My day turned out pretty well! Once we solve the myth, the game of mind.. the path reveals what some of what’s behind. It is a crucial point in my life, this is why I am writing about it.

How do I feel now as a senior?!


It isn’t just about finishing my nursing degree! I had a science degree, where I sat a goal for myself, to work on a laboratory, away from dealing with people!! I wanted to be that solitary person, because I failed to be a leader! Leadership is something meant for me, besides science. I really enjoy having a group, but I can’t be a member without leading this group. Lifting others is important to me also. I can’t see someone troubled without helping them. I guess this is why I succeed in nursing!.. How did I become this qualified person? Probably it is my reward for wishing to help people. A journey I worked hard for it with a lot of sacrifices just to taste this moment.

But how did I become different.. is still complicated.


“Life is a Circle. The End of One Journey is The beginning of The Next”

and until my next journey..

What is your current Goal?

My not Best Day Ever!

Yesterday wasn’t my best day ever! I don’t want to say it was a (bad day)! well look at my tweet!

I tweeted that too early to be honest! It was 16:32 When I just got back home from my shift at the Pediatric Ward. My day started with me missing the bus, and in order to get another ride to the hospital I arrived a little bit late around 7:15 a.m. That is huge! When you work as a healthcare provider. You only arrive at time or early! and you better not to get sick and miss a day at work!!

I was lucky, because my teachers know I am serious student I am always at time, and I start my shifts 7 sharp! So they were easy with me for being late this time! My luck however, started to run out! My day was hard. Nothing wanted to fall in place from the first try! I had to redo things many times in order to get them right! The only good thing was, I didn’t lose the trust of my patient’s mother who was accompanying her little sick child, which is a great thing actually.

I wished I didn’t come! I told my teacher that, when she saw how I was struggling doing paperwork for my case study, and my responsibilities as a Nursing student. She don’t accept this kind of attitude! It was such a mistake when I said I wish I didn’t come! My day even went harder till she said: ” I petty you” !! She forced me to take a break and get something to eat or drink, So I can feel a bit better!

At the end of the shift, somehow I managed to attain most of my objectives of the day! The day tasks were divided into two categories. One marked on the same day. The other is a paper work I have to submit next week. So for the current day tasks I got a B, which is not that bad. I was keeping in mind this …

WAIT!! My head said 24 hours!! then why the hell I was tweeting about it at 16:32!!!!

After I came back, and couldn’t believe that struggle has gone! I directly wanted to hit a cool shower to wash the day off! but then Mom told me not to use the bathroom, because the water tap was off since 2 p.m!! and It will come back around 6 p.m. It is very un usual to be cut off of water! I am until that moment, and I swear I was maintaining a positive attitude toward this day! I told myself …



In order to distract myself till 6 p.m.. I hold my electronics to pass the time. I saw a video on Facebook for an elderly woman dancing with a bunch of dancers in the street! the video was 5 minutes long. At the second minute the power electricity went off, and a thunder storm hit us, caring a heavy rain!!! My wifi connection shut down in front of my eyes. The living room all of a sudden is murky! I look at Mom and I laughed so hard!!!!!


Ps: When I had my lunch at 1 p.m I ordered zucchini with grilled chicken, the zucchini sauce splashed on my white jacket! I had to go wash it in the toilet till the last minute of my break, and dry it with hand vacuum!  


I just wanted from all this to remind you that..

And This because Attitude is everything! 




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Clinical Days as a Nursing Student

I was planning to do this post about my clinical days as a Nursing Student. Basically what do I do during my shift at the hospital. And it’s not like boring instructions on what I am really doing there, but sharing/documenting a bet of my work life and the most important moments that have happened to me!
Are you all curious about what makes me away from my blog, or away from my real social life! Well.. there you are! I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed my clinicals first, plus sharing it with you.

This blog is about my shifts in pediatric wards, I went to the Nursery and the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit aka (NICU).
Ps: This is my first course on pediatric nursing.


When I was in the Nursery, my heart couldn’t stay in its place once I passed through the electronic locked door. I passed the glass wall, and my feelings changed immediately! I don’t know what you call this, but let me call it ‘Babies Mojo’. The Nursery was filled with babies cribs. It was almost like a ‘Babies Factory’, seriously?! At least for my dramatic mind, it is!
Now let me tell you a secret about me. I have never held babies before, especially newborns! Not really.. Few times, but they aren’t enough, so hence the over reacting! But no worries, my teachers did a trail on how to hold new born, and I passed it with ‘too secure’ so be optimistic, I am not that bad!!
Then my teacher asked me to feed a baby, she said I want you to set on that chair, and I will give him to you. Honestly she slaps my self esteem to the ground, but I felt fully prepared. I am wearing a medical goan, my hands are clean, I have done much harder procedures on adults, and I am on a solid ground! What else would go wrong! The moment the baby start to suck, I told him ‘aww honey I am honored’. The following days whenever I enter I say ‘ Good morning you cutie chicks’, and I jump into every crib to check on the babies position and faces! My teacher allowed me to carry babies as much as I liked, she through jokes on me – she has been a nurse for over 16 years- , like how the hell I am a senior Nursing student, and can’t carry a baby! But at the end the day, she told me that she saw me enjoying doing my job, and that impressed her!
I did a full assessment for a new born who was less than hour of age! I participated in the document of his measurements. And whooo. He was ready to join the Nursery!


I agree with scientists who say that newborns are highly intelligent humans, and are not just an alarm that break off in case of emergencies!! And yes, caring for them is exhausting, you ends up as a zombie before 8 p.m! Now let me take you through my experience which made me agree with such theory!

1.I was told to feed one of the babies, I came to his crib and he has a strange look on his face,but my doubts were confirmed the moment I held him, his face expressions just turned into disgusting face with a pendol like eye movement! If you can hear him say something that moment, he would say “What the Fuck is this?”. I tend to add drama to situations like this inside my head! So I was mouthing “Sorry but supposedly you’re hungry and I have to feed you, like I apologize you have to have me caring for you, but I am not letting you starve, you’re an infant for God sake”. I tried to give him the nipple, so he starts to suck, but the milk was dripping on around his lips, and he still has “The disgusting” look on his face. After few seconds, I wiped the dripped milk, and I offered the nipple again and succeed.

2.The other preterm girl inside the Incubator, who God bless her, she moves a lot! Like literally the Nurse has to set her back on her preterm pillow, because she reached the Incubator side door! Then when I received her in my shift it was my job to do so! When my teacher came to check on me I told her this girl loves life! Because she didn’t let me do procedures on her! She is vibrant with life! When it was her time to be fed, she was moving her hands to hold on something! I didn’t expect such a move, I was supporting her neck and head with my left hand, and holding the bottle with my right, so I offered my right pinky and my left thumb. she hold tight on them! It was very beautiful moment I wanted to cry!
It was time to take her out of Incubator, she gained enough weight, ready to be exposed to the environment air. I prepared a crib for her. She was settled and about to sleep.
Later, her mother came to visit her. She took her and breast fed her and spend time playing with her, which made me thrilled.
__ Infants feels the separation from their mothers, and if she wanted to know that there was someone for her, I wanted her to know that I am!

I didn’t feel Okay| Life Lesson


Everyone I know was a bit off, a little too off lately for their own reasons, Including me, either! I wasn’t about to write this post until I realized, silence is a progress. Sometimes we need time to focus. If this transition period took so long! We might get lost during that phase. 

I am not okay! I didn’t feel okay!! I was pretend to, while I am having everyday battles, and then the bigger fields, and next the same war I have been through! No, I am not okay. I was under pressure, but I had to take it for over 3 months. I was angry, because I have my own path that no one can understand. That if I talked up about it, even with the closest persons to me, they would think I am overeating, or I am being crazy! And I don’t jail myself in such stupid situations!  

But NO.. that is not the deal, when you are talking up to someone. Rather it is figuring out a solution! to look up for something you are missing in your puzzle!!  I know what is it like to face a problem by your own, at the same time you have to maintain a complete balance, while it has a bad influence on you and your health maybe! The thing with being a grownup is.. no one is going to understand your problems better than yourself! and believe me if I told you… no one is going to find a way out of them except YOU! It isn’t something you are going through alone. Someone out there is suffering from the same thing, but they have their own ways to deal with it, and so do you. 

Remember what really matter is the current moment, and what your are capable of doing right now. Life doesn’t guarantee anything except, that you have yourself, and that..what you are sure of.



50 Facts about Me|Tag

bombshell drawer-50-facts.jpg

 I find it interesting to find this bulk of facts about yourself! Doesn’t it something makes you appreciate your individuality! Here is the 51th fact ?! Write facts about yourself everyday, Get back to them, when you aren’t feeling okay,  and reread them! Then come tell me how do you feel?

Here is 50 things about me to appropriate later :

 1/I drink soda occasionally, and when I do I only drink colorless ones.

2/ I think I will be lonely and I will not marry and have my little family.

3/ I always wear slippers at home and I feel like I am going to slip & fall if I didn’t!

4/ I have to have 2 drinks on breakfast water + coffee . Juice + water. And something semi liquid like yogurt!!

5/  I have never used a waterproof mascara because I think I don’t need it,  and I am scared to do something terrifying with my lashes if I did so.

6/ I don’t regret any money that I have spent on my hair #thickhairproblems

7/ I love old black ladies. They are bold & sweet.

8/ I love things that makes me scare but at the same time makes me shrug of laughter.

9/speaking of which fear. I don’t scream if I am scared. I don’t remember any situation no matter how scary made me scream!!!!!

10/If I would be an animal for one day I would be a sexy foxy fox!

11/ I would love to create a twitter account called cute scorpion with as a Scorpio wearing a pink bow as avatar.

12/I worked in The Body Shop for 4 months.

13/I don’t compliment, if I said something nice because I mean it.

14/I was bullied by a girl in high school because she didn’t like my big hair. She went at the same university as me, I tried many times to cross her way,  but she withdrawals every time with a shame on her face.

15/I wash my hands before I read any book.

16/I don’t look at my childhood pictures, I don’t like to remember my childhood at all.

17/My kinetic intelligence is so low but I wish I can perform a well coordinated dance for 1 minute!

18/When I was assigned in hemodialysis unit as part of my clinical rotating experience. It was in my first week of the semester. I had vague strange feelings when I saw how sick these people are. They were eating a biscuit I hate from my childhood, one of them had diabetic complication. All I want is to call my mom and cry.

19/My eyes are the only part of my body that I couldn’t like.

20/I hate the word ” random” People perspective of the word random is completely different from what this word has to be! Which piss me off.

21/I have been told I look so beautiful when I am asleep like an angle. (Me set like an angle position, wink)

22/If I am in a good mood I ENJOY when I brush my teeth HOLA!

23/I would love to dye my hair blue but even if I have the nerve,  I wouldn’t do it because currently it needs more care, In order for the color to look good. And I don’t see any point of having trashy hair with trashy color just because I wanna to dye my hair!!

24/I have never had a surprise party for any occasion.

25/I am grateful for My moodiness, it keeps me away from boredom as well as people around me (group happy dance).

26/I am not afraid of death or of being hurt anymore.

27/ 3 years ago my body developed an allergy towards fragrances,  aroma sent.

28/ in days that I suffer from allergy I can’t eat the regular adult portion of meat,  I can’t wear anything woolen or cover by woolen material during sleep.

29/ I had one pet (a cat) when I was 7 years,  she left home during mating season,  my family told me and I don’t really remember what happened after that.

30/ I love pastries.

31/ speaking of which pastries,  when my sister prepare her mint tea its smell Makes me crave them.

32/ I think it’s good to look forward for the weekend but it’s important to live your day and stop thinking about plans have already been planned.

33/ I feel weird when guys use heart eyes emojis haha.

34/I am a cat person,  my heart melts down when I see them.

35/ I love pickles since ever.. yummy.

36/ I had two serious boyfriends both were engineers.

37/ I am android person sorry apple people haha.

38/ I was in love with lace clothing before they become COOL.

39/ I am an introvert personal,  but I blend very well in groups.

40/ I am a perfectionist and it took me years to understand how I deal with it.

41/ I think babies know they are cute!!

42/ coffee is a simple form of happiness the more the best!

43/ often my judgment on people is right.

44/ I wish if I could increase my IQ 10 points every 3 months.

45/ I hate when my associated lie to me, even the smallest lies. It’s fine to say “I don’t wanna do this ” instead of ” I am busy”

46/ Everyone knows I am a sweet girl,  but don’t use me I will turn your life into hell.

47/  During lunch break,  I love to eat my lunch on an open area in third floor in my college, which has a view on the college entrances.

48/ I love stormy, rainy days I feel calm and strong!

49/ I love to help people, but i am selective in that, because I hate to wast my time! if you are going to use what I just offered that is good, but other than that my time is so precious, period.

50/ I want to be a motivational speaker, especially for introverts.


Love-Hate TAG!

I have been tagged by the lovely blogger Oghenero. 

The tag is to list 10 things you love & 10 things you hate, then mention 10 Bloggers to do so! 

It’s a good idea to get to know me! And to know other Bloggers I like and would love to get to know them better!

Let’s start. ..

Love :


1 — I love my stuffed cupcake. Simply it makes me feel better with this pleasant smile!

2 — I love surprises!! Planned ones that make me happy! Or small things that make me grateful, maybe it’s from a stranger who make my day! I love pleasant surprises that challenge me, teach me new lessons.

3 — I love how toodlers like me! It’s weird because I don’t like children! In future if I ever settled down I would love to have children and know how to deal with them.
I come across many little humans who come to me in public places and smile! They try to catch my attention so I play with them. Once upon a time I was sitting with my friends in a park, and a mom came to set nearby. All the girls was happily ‘ awwwing ‘ at him. Except me. He actually came to me and I ignored him, so he plucked grace from the ground and he put on my hair!!!

Awkwardly, my friend introduced me to her friend who has a 2 & half yrs daughter,  my friend opened her arm for the little girl, but the girl came to me!! She picked her up, and the mom said ” she ran to her !!!! ” AWKWARD!


I recommend watermelon & pineapple flavor! It’s my dream flavor why can’t be yours!!!

4 — I love how my sister ‘sometimes’ run errands for me, while I am struggling with my full schedule! I ask for a gum & I come to this!

5 — I love how people inspire me with the smallest things they do! and then I can write about what I have seen!

6 — I love big cities which is full of shopping stores!

7 — I also adore countries and the nature of countries people!


A pic from my meal with my sister, my view!

8 — I love my new Fridays tradition called ( The Waffle Day ). I spend my evening with my sister eating waffles!  – we might eat something else any treat ! –

9 — I love the sound of rain! I love the feel/the moment of the first drop! It calms my anxiety and I feel strong!


10 — Finally.. I love myself, it took me a decade to do so, But I LoVe Me!

Hate :

1 — I hate racism & discrimination.
People are different, it is a fact. We would feel so bored if we were all the same! We disagree,  even oppose because everyone have something to believe in & party or group to live with. But since we are all humans have the same genes inside, everyone has the same right.

2 — I hate  ” Hatefulness” attitude. Which by the way grew larger by the influence of bad celebrities behavior. If you want to get your shit together,  then stopp nagging and stopp hating people instead of understanding them.

3 — I hate envy! Because it affects you somehow! You may don’t want to express yourself or show your talent because of envy! Envy people may go after you to bring you down. This is Not okay!


4 — I hate when people stare at me! Because I am beautiful.  It’s strange when I am talking about it in my blog, because I still anonymous for reasons I haven’t blog about it yet!

5 — I hate soda drinks! Especially brown ones! I don’t like their taste! I used to drink them in my childhood for the sake of … everyone does so. But when I was about 12 years old. I eliminated them. I realized I don’t need to be like everyone. I am my own personal and I hate these drinks!!

6 — I hate bullying.  It’s so stupid! One start an irrelevant opinion!  And others mimic the same shit because they thinks they’re better!

7 — Unfortunately, I hate weddings! Don’t get this wrong.  I love couples, I feel happy for them when they get engaged. Marriage is sacred to me. But I hate weddings and I can’t help it!


Marzipan episode – Chawder series on cartoon network

8 — I hate marzipan flavor!  It’s worse than Harry Potter every flavory bean!
when I was a child I ate chocolate stuffed with it, it was the first time that I came to taste this and I hate it ever since. OMG!

9 — Another kind of food I hate is Tuna! I feel nauseated by the smell! and I had a battle telling my mother that I don’t like tuna. Other than that I love all kind of sea food .

10 — I hate bugs! All kind of them! It’s the only thing that makes nature hard! And I am an outdoor peraon. So yeah!

I hope you enjoyed this post as much as I enjoyed writing it! 




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Let’s Talk Coffee!

When someone asks me How do you prefer your coffee? I get confused! They will define which kind of person I am by telling what kind of coffee I am drinking? & No I am not scared of others judgment, but I want to give a good impression of myself.. To be specific, to give the Right impression!


Because How do I prefer it, is differ from How I actually drink it!?
(If we count the mood swings of a moody person like me plus getting bord of the same kind of coffee). I may drink a certain kind everyday because it is the only coffee of choice. but.. with me, rushing all week. Doesn’t mean it is my favorite coffee. 5 years ago my favorite coffee of all times was (black coffee)!! Yeah, I love solitude , I drink coffee in a particular time, and coffee goes along with my favorite time to read or my favorite chocolate to eat!!

Then I discovered the magic of sugar, How it gives you the extra push for the morning and The good mood that you enjoy! So, I was drinking coffee with milk + medium sugar.

I started a Healthy life style since 2012. Nowadays, I’m moving to many beverages , and many kinds of coffees.

Me drinking Italiano with a badass brownies!

Every weekend I would try a new one  in a new coffee shop. I become a fan of (Cold,coffee toffee) (Cold, caramel mocha) (Hot, cinnamon mocha) (Italian coffee). On the other side, I don’t like cappuccino! Have tried from different shops I can’t be convinced by it. I also I don’t like coffee mocha alone! Although I once had prepared it at home with ( Maltesers chocolate powder) and it was delicious. Coffee latter is not in my preferences either! I have heard of a widely famous coffees I haven’t tried yet, and would like to!! like (Cold, Salted caramel) (Hot, Pumpkin spice).

Now .. Tell me what’s Yours?!

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